He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
