That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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