Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
