Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
whose parrot is this?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
