I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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