I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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