used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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