We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
