Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
