non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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