I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
