WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
