oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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