The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
