Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
