it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So squirting runs in the family.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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