Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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