No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
