just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
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Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
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Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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