You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
only you would photoshop your dick
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
