im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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