you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
