At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
