Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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