my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
