I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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