i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
MIDGETS
????
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize