I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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