the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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