He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
