Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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