did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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