he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
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Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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