i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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