There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
