i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
