Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
