My brain says no but my pants say off.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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