perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
