break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
thus making me awesome and them whores
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
