You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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