Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
