This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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