4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
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Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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