Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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