The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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