apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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