nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
