I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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