..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
