My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
