I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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