Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
