I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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