therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
