there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize