Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
