ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
