just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
