She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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