What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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