I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
