dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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