that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
