i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
my poor anus
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
